How to dine out solo (and have a great time)

Solo dining is expected to get more popular. Photo / 123rf
Dining as a solo traveller can be daunting. But it doesn’t need to be – you can probably treat yourself better than anyone else.
“Oh, I hadn’t quite finished,” I apologise as the waiter tries to dart my plate away. He gives me a knowing look. I’m a woman eating alone on a Saturday evening. He does the restaurant maths: hardly a valued customer.
Actually, he’s wrong. I’m here for an hour before I dash to the theatre. But I was going to bring friends next week. In my role as restaurant detective, I often sound out places in advance.
Despite solo dining gaining in popularity, many restaurants still view us as less profitable. While breakfast and lunch seem more acceptable, dining alone in the evening can feel awkward, especially in more intimate settings.
I’ve encountered many of the tactics used to put off solo diners. The receptionist who “forgets” to seat you. The restaurant offering a tasting menu only for two (subtext: a lone customer takes up the same space as two and must make up the shortfall). And I’ll never forget the Oxford restaurant with a “Couples only” sign.
All too often I avert my gaze as the waiter loudly removes the cutlery opposite me (announcing my pariah status to other diners). But I’ve also had exceptional service, from greasy spoons and tavernas to high-end joints. And I’m not alone. According to online reservation service company OpenTable, solo dining has increased by 14% year on year in the United Kingdom. Among Gen Z and Millennials, a whopping 79% say they plan to dine solo this year.
So take yourself out to dinner. When we challenge ourselves to do something uncomfortable, it boosts our self-esteem. Try a new cuisine. Focus on flavours and textures without distraction and eat as little (or as much) as you like. But don’t let them take that plate away!
Here’s how to embrace solo dining with gusto.
Don’t feel you need to apologise for turning up alone. OpenTable reports solo diners spend 32% more per person, averaging £55 (NZ$118). “Restaurateurs are often reluctant to accommodate solo diners because they think they are halving the potential income from the table,” explains Jeremy King, co-founder of The Wolseley and The Delaunay and now The Park. “But my attitude is you are probably increasing it by 50% because someone dining alone is likely to be quicker and you can reseat. The best way to obtain a table in a busy restaurant is to pitch up in person and tell the maître d’hôtel what you need – state when you anticipate leaving and there is more chance of being fitted in.”
“We love solo diners,” says Francois O’Neill, founder of Maison Francois in St James’s and the more relaxed Cafe Francois in Borough Yards. “We’ll often give them a glass of champagne as a welcome and the best seats. I think there’s something very romantic about having solo diners, whether that’s someone travelling or coming in to read a book.” He still has the receipt from the first meal he ate solo as a teen at La Coupole in Paris.
In New York, I fell in love with the neighbourhood deli. And now, in London, King has created an upmarket version with The Park. “The best restaurants are those where solo diners feel comfortable – particularly women,” he says. “I was particularly keen to create a restaurant in the ‘grand cafe’ tradition but with a New York influence. I have always been a lover of diners and their flexibility. The Park has 28 corners or booths, so it’s my ideal.”
Half of people surveyed say the biggest barrier to solo dining is finding a table for one. Lazy venues plonk solos in the middle of a room, when often we crave a view. “Part of the problem is restaurants need to maximise the number of diners while making sure that the layout isn’t too regimented,” says designer John Kirkup. Few have thought about how to welcome solo diners.
The good news is that sushi restaurants and noodle bars (such as Koya and Mr Bao in London or Gaijin Sushi in Birmingham), with sit-up bar eating or window seating, love solo diners. When luxury guide Paddy Renouf isn’t squiring A-list clients around London, he heads for Chinatown. “It’s a delightful time to be mindful of yourself. There’s no fuss. You’re not on a date. It’s about elegant fast food. By the time you pay the bill, the table has been reset.”
I’m also a fan of cafes at galleries, cinemas and theatres, including London’s Garden Museum Cafe, the Almeida Cafe and Bar in Islington and The Kitchen at Chester’s Storyhouse. They’re so glad you’re investing in the art, they want you to have a good time.
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Plenty of counter seating lends itself well to eating alone (plus the bonus of marvelling at the chefs while you eat), says Mark McGinley, founder of the food-themed Southeast London BookFest (until November 30). “Jose in Bermondsey has good counter seats. In Soho, I love Duck Soup where you can get tips about the wine from people behind the counter, and Bocca di Lupo is great for chef-watching.”
A front-row view of the kitchen is like live theatre. To take away any stigma about eating solo, Keeley Haworth, co-founder of Plates’ plant-based tasting menu in Hoxton, east London, designed the 25-seat restaurant with a chef’s counter for a solo diner overlooking the kitchen. For three sittings a day, you get arguably the best seat in the house. “My brother and I based it on our grandmother who was widowed early. She always came to our father’s restaurant on her own and wanted to face out into the restaurant, not feel alone.”
Jennifer Sharp, former restaurant editor of Harper’s Bazaar, loves eating solo and is a fan of sharing tables, such as those available for walk-ins at Michelin-starred Mountain in Soho, central London. “I shared a high table with views across the room and the open kitchen. Sharing tables give you permission to speak to strangers and they’re often fascinating, from all over the world, and often keen foodies.”
Counter 71 in Shoreditch, east London, an all-counter restaurant, has just one sitting each evening, serving 16 guests. “The communal seating allows a good view of dishes being prepared, much more stimulating than being stuck in a dark corner,” enthuses manager Harry Cooper. “We find seating guests together to eat the courses simultaneously offers the opportunity to strike up conversations. I personally will try to offer longer interaction with single diners, although sometimes we can see they are very happy to have a quiet solo dinner.”
“Don’t be afraid of talking to the staff about the food or wine – they like enthusiastic customers,” says Sharp. I’ve built up a rapport with my neighbourhood restaurants in southeast London and will often drop in before or after the lunchtime rush or on my way to a theatre marathon. The waiter doesn’t need to be your best friend, laughs drama producer Jessica Dromgoole. “Once my nephew stood me up (ie slept in) when I invited him for a birthday brunch at The Ivy and yet the staff still brought me – sitting alone – a baba with a candle in it and made the restaurant sing to me. That put me off for a while.”
Choose a fun restaurant or a type of food that you really want to try.
Dress up: Find a frock or a suit that makes you feel like you’re starring in your own movie. Have a blow-dry. Add a great pair of earrings. And walk in with pride.
Time it right: Try to be considerate and check in before the lunchtime rush, or arrive early evening. You’re more likely to get a better table and be treated well.
Make sure the table suits your needs. A corner table is fine (so long as you’re not hemmed in by other diners) but overhead lighting is a must if you want to read.
Have an hour off your phone: Give it to the staff to charge it for you. People are less present if they are scrolling through social media, says Renouf. “Watching someone read in a restaurant is intriguing. People on their phone are subconsciously going for a dopamine hit.”
Make a day of it, with a coastal walk or a place of interest, plus lunch. My cousin has just introduced me to The Seaside Boarding House next to Hive Beach in Dorset (great service with fantastic sea views) and Rise in Bridport (casual buzzy gastro pub overlooking the harbour).
People watching is great fun: You can spot people on a first date, while a bored couple with nothing in common makes you grateful for your single status.
If you are worried about people staring at you, reframe the experience. “You know what? It doesn’t really matter what they’re thinking.”